Friday, September 10, 2010

Old dog, new tricks...

I don’t take compliments well.  I got pretty much the same one today, twice :/ YIKES…the first time it was a raging, venting, UGH, not pretty fest…I walked away, ended in tears.  I think that I needed it though, because I had an epiphany somewhere between the beginning of the day when that occurred and the middle of the day when the next time happened.  The second time, I seemed to SOMEHOW…politely manage to say…thank you ;) 

I am blessed with great kids.  Amazing ones really, still not quite sure on most days just WHY God has entrusted ME with them!?  They are brilliant, smarter than either of their parents…beautiful…sometimes she looks at me with that tan face and blond hair and those electric blue eyes - and it DOES hurt.  It’s painful…she truly is SO stunning that it takes your breath away, and it hurts.  And he’s just precious with that nose full of freckles, and those teeth I keep praying he’ll grow into.

But we’ve had another ROUGH week.  School this year seems to be a huge adjustment for him.  EVERYTHING is just so different, he is having a very hard time settling in.  Now, his behavior is fine there, but he is EXHAUSTED by the time we see him every day.  And…well basically he just doesn’t have much ‘good’ left for us.  I'm not quite sure what the teen years have in store...but if Savannah's morning 'dressing drama' routine continues...OMG Parochial School with uniforms...I'm just sayin!   Last Friday they were in the bed asleep by 6:30, not bad…I beat ‘em, I fell asleep on the couch at 6:00!  By this morning, they had both lost the privilege of going to daddy’s game tonight.  Which they were both VERY disappointed about, but were also VERY tired…so I knew they would be in bed early.  So basically this only REALLY sucked…FOR ME!! But as most decent parents know…we do time, when our kids do the crime…

Which I guess sorta brings me to the compliment…I was talking to a co-worker early this a.m. (I had a student in my room who has a similar label/disability as my son - but is very different from my son) and she made the comment that ‘she would never have known my son had asperger’s/autism’ (now this is someone who we spent about 1 day a week with all summer long) Now this is the part where I SHOULD have said ‘THANK YOU’…but you know me :P I of course feel the need to unload apparently (poor sweet girl…) and explain how she WOULD see it if she spent any extended time with him, and how our life is a constant 24/7 exhausting battle, basically that we do live in pure hell, have no friends, no life, a struggling marriage hanging on by a thread…ALL in the hopes that he will turn out well adjusted in the long run. Because we HAVE fought those battles, made him toe the line, not given in, lived through the hell…

This was about the point I walked away because the tears were coming.  I’m not sure about the epiphany…except for the fact that it just felt better after I said all that…Like..all this crap, everything we are going through. It DOES have a point.  We are trying to create the best man we can.

Cut to around lunchtime…one of my best friends Pam was there.  She used to work there, but now is doing a co-op with our bookkeeper Miss Bobbi (who also happens to be her mom ;)  I was talking to them and Miss Bobbi told me that Pam’s mother-in-law (we had all been at a pool party together last weekend) had complimented the kids.  She had said that they were very good, and that I was really good with them (I had SOOO many comments for THAT one) but I simply said, ‘REALLY? Wow…thanks, tell her I said THANK YOU!’

I don’t know if Justice will ever learn, but maybe you can teach some old dog’s a few new tricks.

They weren’t in bed by 6:30 tonight...we were watching The Muppet Movie.  Justice LOVES the music…Rainbow Connection was my favorite and is his too.  Savy loves Miss Piggy….she is after all The Princess.