Monday, November 4, 2013

Healing can take time. Forgiving can take even more…

           I sure have missed my people. There was a time when I could have never imagined leaving these mountains and colors that I love so much.  And then…our world exploded, or imploded…  Everything that we did and stood for was tested.  Who we were as a family and a couple, was challenged.  Our true friends stood with us as we faced the challenge and made tough choices.  And we chose each other, we chose our children, we chose FAMILY. So we walked away, we made a move that had been a long time in the making, but God finally made the timing right. 
            But I was mad.  I may have made the choice to leave my home and my friends, but I did not like the feeling that I was being controlled by the actions of others. Others that I KNEW were doing something wrong, people that we had trusted.  And I know that the whole “learning who your true friends are” is a common experience, but I was also still very bothered by this realization.  I guess it stung so hard because the ‘back-stabs’, and the ‘whispers’ only came from a few people, but they were all people from our church. We belonged to a different church for about 8 years previously and never experienced anything like this.
            But this is what I have learned.  It’s all good. I remember telling Jay, through tears…that God had a plan for all this.  That if we just trusted Him, everything would be all right. I am at an amazing middle school. I love my administration and all of the people I work with. It is the PERFECT school for Justice, hands down. And he has done so well so far this year.  Savannah is doing great as well, and we love her elementary school too.  Jay has his dream landscaping job, and just bought his dream truck, he is a happy man. 

            Savy and I had a wonderful trip back ‘home’ this past weekend.  It was the perfect time. I realized that I am not mad anymore. Our amazing life that God has blessed us with has completely healed me.  And for that I am extremely grateful. I was grateful for quiet moments, just sitting next to dear friends, coach’s wives who mean so much.  I am grateful for all those precious students who asked if I was back…lol  I am grateful that I can forgive, that I can let go, and that the UNfriend button is a powerful healing tool.