Unconditional Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.

Love.Never.Fails. Now people, we fail all the time. We fail AT love. We fail each other. But love, it never fails. In its purest sense, the love of Jesus will never fail us. If only WE could love like Jesus. But isn't that our goal? True unconditional love. I feel like I first learned about unconditional love from my precious Dolly-mama. I wish I could say I learned about it from my parents, but unfortunately I can't. My dad taught me from an early age that love had to be earned; but my mom, she loved me unconditionally. Her love for me never wavered, no matter the choices or mistakes I made. Likewise, my love and admiration for her never wavered a bit, even through my teens when she was 'the meanest mom in the world'. I learned how to love 'warts-and-all' from her.

I was blessed to find a man who also loved like Jesus and loves me unconditionally as well. Loving like Jesus has taught us how to love, grow, forgive, love our babies unconditionally, and forgive some more. To me the most amazing thing about unconditional love is that it doesn’t keep score. Dolly and I never kept track of who called who, or how often; we just knew that we would each be calling the other. Every day. Several.times.a.day. Because we loved each other, UNCONDITIONALLY. That love…without keeping record, without keeping track, it is so rare and pure. And so hard to find. I had it with my Dolly-mama, we have it with Jay’s parent’s (the best In-Laws in the World) and family, our children have it, and I have a few select friends who I love and love me unconditionally.

When it comes to children, our children, love ‘is not self-seeking’. In other words, when we became parents we put our children first. Not above God, or our marriage; but we became less selfish, less self-serving. Unfortunately this is not true of all parents. But Jay and I had both been raised in situations where we had seen amazing examples of unconditional love, but also non-examples and we were determined to love our children unconditionally. We never want our children to wonder if they are loved, to feel that they need to do ANYTHING to earn our love. No child, young or adult should ever feel that way. Love always protects.

Mean Doesn't Win

Rude vs. Mean Vs. Bullying…I have a poster about this hanging up in my classroom, because kids CAN be mean. They can also be rude and sometimes they are bullies, but mostly, they are just mean. 

Not too long ago someone was mean to one of my kids…it happens, like I said, kids are mean. It actually didn’t even faze MY kid, but WOW did it faze me!  For a couple of reasons…first of all, I don’t like mean! Second of all, it was someone who is very near and dear to me/us. Third, it really just hurt my feelings as we try very hard to provide for our kids as best we can, but refuse to spoil them. They get ONE pair of nice sneakers when school starts, that’s it. Shoes are not a competition. When and if they get worn out or outgrown, they get replaced. Period. For Savannah that is usually the next school year and for Justice it is at least once or sometimes twice during the year.

Anyway I kept trying to figure out why this wasn’t bothering my kid? How did he just let this roll? Well, he texted me the other day telling me that it was time, his current sneakers were officially on their last legs and could we please go shopping for new ones. So we all went shopping last night and I had a glimpse into the awesomeness that is our children. Now I’m not saying any of this to brag, or to point out that we are great parents, because trust us, we have messed up immeasurably and are full of faults. BUT, there are a few things that we have gotten right, and raising grateful, unspoiled children (who fight with each other constantly ;) are a few of those things! Just as a little background, we do the 4 gifts for Christmas (1 want, 1 need, 1 to wear, 1 to read) so as we were leaving the store Justice says “well, these can count as my 1 thing I need for Christmas.” Seriously? I love this 13-year-old boy! And his sister, who is already starting to plan her birthday party (in June) because she wants to donate gifts to a children’s hospital or cancer center. Yes, we must be doing something right, and even when their Mama gets upset…mean didn’t win.

Simple. Simplify. Simplified.

Many people feel so pressured by the expectations of others that it causes them to be frustrated, miserable and confused about what they should do. But there is a way to live a simple, joy-filled, peaceful life, and the key is learning how to be led by the Holy Spirit, not the traditions or expectations of man. ~Joyce Meyer

So, remember that last blog? All that talk about His plan? I didn’t even have a clue! Hahaha I mean, I knew He had something good up His sleeve for me, but I had no idea it would be like this! Of course, it was NOTHING like I thought it was, or what I ‘thought’ was His plan. I thought that I would be staying home this year, taking some time, etc. Oh no, He knew that was not what I needed. I needed a slight career change for sure; I needed to be with my ‘core’ and my sweet girl. He knew and He provided. I have been blessed to return to elementary school, teaching 5^th grade science; leaving the Special Education world behind. I get to work with some of my best friends every day AND my sweet girl is there with me too! I could not be happier, my kids are precious and I absolutely adore them (some are a little bit easier to adore than others ;) But there is not one thing about this transition that I would change.

Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. These memories will never be forgotten by your children. ~Ezra Taft Benson

This brings us to the holiday season around here and the REAL reason for this blog. We’ve pretty much always done things a little ‘different’ in our house. We’ve tried to raise our kids to be thankful on a daily basis and to live a life of service to others. So we have never really made a HUGE deal about Thanksgiving, Christmas, or their birthdays. Actually, we stopped ‘doing’ Christmas years ago (long-time readers already know this ;) and started ‘Giving Away Christmas’. Santa has continued to bring them each a stocking, but otherwise all of our efforts have been towards making, creating, or purchasing gifts for others. For the first time in many years they received gifts last year, with each receiving a pair of boots. In the past they would always spend weekends making little ornaments and gifts to give away. However, this year we are changing things up a bit as they get older. We really feel that they can take a more active part in serving others, and choosing whom to serve.

To that end we have started several new family traditions at the Norton house. This Thanksgiving we had a simple family meal and everyone made a part. We had a turkey of course, but then Savy made sweet potatoes (topped ½ with marshmallows and ½ with pecans), Justice made mashed potatoes (like Mom-mom used to make), I made green bean casserole (by request of Savy), and Jay made rolls, homemade gravy, dessert, (and the turkey).

Tomorrow we have plans to go to Marbles Children’s Museum and to watch the Lemur movie at the iMax. Then we are going to an Angel Tree so the kids can pick out a child to buy presents for. Saturday we are going to the Duke Lemur Center and shopping for their Angel child. We have also talked to them about this Christmas, as we are planning on doing the 4 Gifts:

Something they Want

Something they Need

Something to Wear

Something to Read

We had a talk the other day about how this time of year can be hard for many people, and difficult for them because of how we do things differently. We talked about how they may feel when other people are talking about getting lots of ‘stuff’ or expensive things. We also talked about things to say, how they truly do not go without anything they need, and how they get many things throughout the year so getting a bunch more ‘stuff’ on one day really isn’t necessary. I know our kids are NOT perfect. But conversations like this just warm my heart. They get it. They truly understand that there is a difference between wants and needs. They understand that sometimes, actually more often than not…we have to wait for wants. Sometimes we have to wait a very long time. They get this; they really get this now at 8 and 12. I hope they are still getting it at 12 and 16, and then still at 16 and 20 because if so their transition into adulthood will be so much smoother.

As always, Blessed to be the Nortons4

One of the characteristics of North American culture is that you can always start again. You can always move forward, cross a border of a state or a city or a county, and move West, most of the time West. You leave behind guilt, past traditions, memories. ~Isabel Allende

I've been holding my breath...for far too long.

So, I realized that I hadn't posted my verse for today, and it was almost 7. I guess I'm running a little late today. Funny, because for the first time in a long time...I actually feel like...I.can.breathe. You see, I've been floundering, struggling, drowning if you will. 

Part of it was having to move, but we are here and pretty much settled. Part of it was work, last year for lack of any better way to say it...totally kicked my a$$. I enjoyed my job, my staff, my Admin was the BEST, loved the kids, but the workload was just too much. Part of it has just been life. Life is hard, marriage is tough. Marriage with young kids is really tough. And then God heaped just a little bit more onto our plates. Another kick in the gut so to speak. One of those, "as long as I never have to deal with THAT things..." But ok, we've got this. It's amazing how He takes care of His children, how He provides in the midst of despair.  

I thought I had it all handled. I thought I had it ALL figured out. I.HAD.A.PLAN. Someday I will learn. It's ok though. His plans are ALWAYS infinitely better, I have definitely learned THAT by now! I remember taking a walk with one of my very wise Sisters-in-law last month. We have too much in common really, but one thing that I was a tad bit jealous of was this 'core' group of lady friends that she spoke about. They were a group that had shared experiences, that really understood each other, the season of life they were in, etc. THAT was what I needed, what I was missing, what I began to pray for. Little did I know, God was already on the case, already had many of these ladies in place, I just didn't realize it, couldn't see it.

I was still too worried about MY plan. I was worried about disappointing this person or that person. Worried I would let people down, people who have counted on me, people I have counted on. What I REALLY couldn't see was that I didn't have to answer to anyone, anyone except God.

So, in about a month's time I have gone from barely being able to breathe, and having trouble getting out of bed, to - I've got this! I thought I had a plan...But now I have HIS plan. Which coincidently, is something I have always dreamed of doing. I have a new Bible Study, a new direction, a renewed hope. I have MY core group. And my verse for today....

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)

Yeah, I'm ready.


On a side note...Here's a great Blog by an awesome lady. She also happens to be part of my core :)

http://susanromnek.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/a-straight-path/

Diamonds ARE this girl's best friend...

I see great things in baseball. It's our game — the American game. It will take our people out-of-doors, fill them with oxygen, give them a larger physical stoicism. Tend to relieve us from being a nervous, dyspeptic set. Repair these losses, and be a blessing to us. ~Walt Whitman

I have been so blessed by baseball. I love sports. If you know me…this is NOT a news flash. My insane love for sports (normal, popular sports like baseball and football) is one of the only things that my awesome cousin and I do not share. Now, the uncommon ones…curling, biathlon, etc…we DO share a love of those ;) But there is just something about baseball…

I may have met my love, my better half, the amazing man who is my rock…at a bowling alley, but I fell in love with him on the baseball diamond. When I met him he was coaching a Little League team of 11/12 year olds, 5^th and 6^th graders…the EXACT level/age that Justice is now. He was blessed to coach those boys on that team, and then coach many of them again on a high school football team. I fell in love with who he was as a coach, how he coached and how he cared…was just different. I have been around coaches, been the Coach’s wife for a LONG time and he is unique. There are few coaches or people even, which see what he sees…understand what he understands. I can think of one, maybe two others. And he has this ability on a football field, a softball field, anywhere he goes…but no place quite like he does on the baseball diamond, or in the backyard…because he has created two amazing little players for Team Norton. 

Justice has played a few years, not many really. His social skills and ability to interact with teammates has always been a struggle, so for team sports we have always focused on basketball through Upward Sports. He is actually only in his 3rd season of baseball. He is becoming more and more comfortable in a variety of positions…and I think the WEB GEM catch he made tonight will definitely boost his confidence in the outfield.

Our Peanut is quite the ball player as well. In only her 2^nd season playing (she played when she was 4) she is already very comfortable at shortstop AND her latest position…catcher.  She even talked the coach into letting her catch the entire game, on only her second day ever catching. She’s got a swing that is ridiculously similar to Evan Gattis, and has NO FEAR behind the plate.

I have been continuously blessed by baseball. I fell in love with their daddy on that diamond. We celebrated our marriage with a honeymoon in Atlanta…watching our Braves. Justice was at the ballpark when he was 2 weeks old to watch his daddy umpire, and Savannah has literally grown up in a softball dugout. Back in the mountains, we had our Asheville Tourists…and because of them have met some great players like Corey Dickerson of the Colorado Rockies (he and Justice actually share a birthday.) And another one…Russell Wilson, who is an even better person and Christian than he is a ballplayer…baseball OR football.

Baseball continues to bless me. There is just something about that diamond, the grass, and my coach. He is ‘retired’ now, but will always be a coach in my eyes.  That diamond makes me fall in love with him all over again. Every.dang.time.