How did I get HERE??

It wasn't my choice to become a teacher. Some days I am not sure at all how I got here...I mean, growing up my sister and I did our share of 'playing school.' But I did not come from a family of teachers, I did not feel growing up that I HAD to be a teacher. One one hand, as I was growing up I could have been anything that I wanted to be.  But really, when I was growing up there were only two things that I wanted to be...one was a journalist, and the other was a lawyer. And I had some AMAZING teachers that encouraged both of these possibilities. From 2nd grade...through high school, I can still name the ones who made a difference: Mrs. Burgess, Dianne Smith, Dr. Short, Debbie Dudek, Ted Backes, Shirley Council, Burt Podhurst, Dennis Horal, Linda (Carter) Backes, Mr. Hastings. I know I am blessed to still be in touch with a few of them to this day.

 
It's funny though,I believe this idea that I could be 'anything' is also what lead me to finally become a teacher...many years later.  I don't know if I was a likable student, but I was certainly NOT the Honor Society/yes sir/yes ma'am student that my older sister was.  I had my share of fun (and her share, and a few others ;) made enough poor choices to last a life time, hit the absence limit EVERY semester, and never because I was sick...Let's just say that we are hoping the kids follow in their sweet Daddy's footsteps and not mine!  So when I think about all of the things that I 'could' have been....I could have very easily never even gone to college - just gotten pregnant (more than once) and then who knows....I could have easily gone down the path of drugs and heavy drinking, and to the dark world beyond....I could have dropped out of school easily, many times...might have missed college all together if it wasn't for the voice in middle school who told me 'you HAVE to go - YOU will have a blast, you will find yourself...' those were the 3 hardest years of my life, except for hearing that over and over during 8th grade.

I think it has probably been part.. fear of 'what might have been' and a whole lot of...by the Grace of God that has led me to the classroom, but there is no doubt that it is my mission field.  I have a saying, almost a mantra that I try to live by...it is written on the inside cover of my Bible and I mention it almost weekly at our FCA/CL meetings. "You may be the only Jesus that someone sees that day." I try to carry that out in my classroom and often feel as if I spend from 8:00 - 3:15 parenting every day...and often don't have much left when my own kids get up the hill...but those are just the days that we pray extra hard. Our kids see us pour everything into our jobs, they see us love 'our kids' and 'Daddy's boys' and we wouldn't have it any other way.  We have opened our home to students in need in the past, and they have become family, and I'm sure we will do it again.  I've gone to graduations and cried because I am so proud of how far my kids have come, and I've gone to too many funerals...and sobbed, devastated by the thought of a life cut way too short.  It never gets easier...but I wouldn't change a thing, not one. Every bad choice, every rough year, it lead me here...it put me right here with these students...who I know in my heart of hearts need me.  They need to hear what I have to say, they need to learn from my poor choices and my bad decisions, and they need to see my Jesus.