Nightmare

So I thought that all of the deaths I (we) had suffered this past year had been horrible, with some of them being somewhat expected and some of them being sudden. With the ages ranging from a young girl of 8 years old to the ripe old age of 89 years old, these losses all rocked our world on one level or another. But not one of them ROCKED me like I was ROCKED on Monday, January 5, 2009.

My mom went in for a routine heart catheteration. Based on the results she may have needed a ballooning procedure or a stint. Unfortunately during the heart cath procedure, she SUFFERED A STROKE!! So a quick 1/2 hr procedure turned into HOURS of waiting for me. After hearing NOTHING for hours, I texted my dad, then called him. He then told me the news. I immediately left my school, called Jay, drove to his school to pick him up (so he could drive me - thank goodness it is close, because I was in NO state to drive!) We drove straight to the hospital and by the time we got there, mom had been stabilized in the CICU. She was sedated, on a ventilator and they had completed all surgeries. They were able to go in and 'clean up' as much as they could in the brain, they were hoping to treat what was left with meds. As far as assessing damage - it was in the left side of her brain, therefore the right side of her body is affected. As well as speech and understanding.

That day, Monday was horrible, horrific, tragic, numbing, there really aren't words...she was trapped within herself. I knew she was in there, I knew she could hear us, but she couldn't respond, talk, could barely squeeze with her GOOD hand. All I could do was tell her it would be okay, that we would get through this...and when I kissed her goodbye / goodnight and told her I'd be back in the morning she nodded her head, ever so slightly. HOPE!

3 days overdue...

One of my 2009 New Years Resolutions was to start (and maintain..lol) a Blog. So here goes... but I'm already behind. Now normally this would cause me to give up, to quit before I even start. I have some issues - I'm sure I will get to them later, but for now this brings me to another resolution....follow through on more tasks that I begin. So my LOFTY goal for my blog is to add something EVERY day....something, even if it is just a picture or a sentence or two about the day. I am using this site on the advice of a very wise, experienced blogger (shout out to my cuz) who tells me I can even update it from my phone...for those of you who know me well - right about now you are going..oh, maybe she CAN do this after all.

I attended yet another funeral / Celebration of Life today, I've HONESTLY lost count for this year, but it was for yet another teenager. I have MUCH to say...but will save it for another day...it's late, or early rather and it's been a long day...