Part of it was having to move, but we are here and pretty much settled. Part of it was work, last year for lack of any better way to say it...totally kicked my a$$. I enjoyed my job, my staff, my Admin was the BEST, loved the kids, but the workload was just too much. Part of it has just been life. Life is hard, marriage is tough. Marriage with young kids is really tough. And then God heaped just a little bit more onto our plates. Another kick in the gut so to speak. One of those, "as long as I never have to deal with THAT things..." But ok, we've got this. It's amazing how He takes care of His children, how He provides in the midst of despair.
I thought I had it all handled. I thought I had it ALL figured out. I.HAD.A.PLAN. Someday I will learn. It's ok though. His plans are ALWAYS infinitely better, I have definitely learned THAT by now! I remember taking a walk with one of my very wise Sisters-in-law last month. We have too much in common really, but one thing that I was a tad bit jealous of was this 'core' group of lady friends that she spoke about. They were a group that had shared experiences, that really understood each other, the season of life they were in, etc. THAT was what I needed, what I was missing, what I began to pray for. Little did I know, God was already on the case, already had many of these ladies in place, I just didn't realize it, couldn't see it.
I was still too worried about MY plan. I was worried about disappointing this person or that person. Worried I would let people down, people who have counted on me, people I have counted on. What I REALLY couldn't see was that I didn't have to answer to anyone, anyone except God.
So, in about a month's time I have gone from barely being able to breathe, and having trouble getting out of bed, to - I've got this! I thought I had a plan...But now I have HIS plan. Which coincidently, is something I have always dreamed of doing. I have a new Bible Study, a new direction, a renewed hope. I have MY core group. And my verse for today....
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)
Yeah, I'm ready.
On a side note...Here's a great Blog by an awesome lady. She also happens to be part of my core :)
