Less is More...or...what REALLY matters...

You may want to pull up a comfy chair, get a fresh drink...this may be a lengthy one ;)

Many of you have heard me say that I am blessed before...but I have spent some time reflecting this holiday season and I am just So humbled by how blessed I truly am.  First, I want to explain that our holidays are a bit different than most other people's are..this is by our choice, and has come from years of lessons learned and God showing us His plan. Holidays have always been a very stressful time for our family...people with autism/aspergers (ie. Justice ;) don't always do well with all the chaos, crowds (even if they are family), schedule changes, surprises, etc.  And unfortunately not everyone 'gets' this... I truly believe that my mom's stroke happened almost 3 years ago for several reasons. It slowed us down and made us reevaluate all the running around, getting here and there, etc and made us cherish just BEING with each other. It made us realize that is it relationships, people, and serving...that truly matter, not things, stuff... On some level, 'losing' a part of my mom - saved me and saved our marriage.  It wasn't until she got sick that I learned how to surrender to God, because of that Jay and I have undoubtedly grown closer than ever before.  I know that before, I relied too heavily on my mom - now it is Jay and I, together with God...facing the world.

Our focus for the holidays is now on others, and spending time with each other.  During the school year we are so busy, we don't have time for Family Game nights, movies, just BEING. So the kids have made their ornaments to give away, shopped for their needy children, and now we are just spending time together.  We have watched movies, played games, snuggled, loved, made memories. We have relaxed, not been stressed, had a nice meal, will go see the Gingerbread Houses at Grove Park tomorrow, and then get ready to head to the Belk Bowl. Yes, our sports loving family has managed to fit in a sporting event into the holidays...part of our Christmas is getting together with some of our family in Charlotte to support NCSU at the Belk Bowl. I'm really going to see Daughtry and Edwin McCain, but Shhh, don't tell ;)

As I think about my blessings this year and some of the changes we have faced it is so comforting to know that God has placed us where he wants us to be. Jay is working back at East and that is such a blessing, for both our family and all of those students. There is nothing that I am more sure of than the fact that it is our mission to work with middle and high school students.  One of the biggest and hardest changes of our year also had to do with students, middle, high school, and ours. We made the excruciating decision to change churches, and once again it was certainly a 'God thing'...lol We had been 'visiting '(First Baptist of East Flat Rock) Savy's church, as we called it for a long time, then it became our 'spare church'...and finally, long after it felt like home...it officially became OUR church. There is SO much that we love about our church - we love our youth, who we are very actively involved with...we love the Children's program...and their leaders Colby and Lindsey. But most of all we simply love our church family, they are such a blessing.

I believe that I am very blessed by the man in my life. I am not quite sure most days why he puts up with me, then again I guess that God knew we needed each other. I am also truly blessed with these sweet babies, even when they are driving me nuts. I wouldn't want it any other way...

I stole this part from a friend, but the following are just several things that through the years I have come to believe (many probably come from my MIL, she's the wisest lady I know ;)


I...

....at any given time, every person is doing the very best they can, with the resources they currently have.

....most people will have to kiss a few frogs before they find their Prince.

....that it is only through God's sweet and generous grace that I am where I am today.

....God has a master plan for us, that sometimes involves great pain...we must be willing and open to feel that pain in order to reap the benefits and great rewards.

....it is more beneficial for our girls to hear "You is kind, you is smart, you is important" and "You is strong, you is capable, you is funny" than to hear "You are a beautiful princess"

....forgiveness does so much more for the person doing the forgiving, than the one being forgiven. That being said...people move in AND out of our lives for a reason.

....that some of our closest 'family' members, were born to completely different families, and by the same token...it is OKAY for some family members to be strangers.

....that certain movies (Facing the Giants, Sandlot, Finding Forrester) will teach us 'Life's Lessons' better than life will.

....I will never be prepared to attend the funerals of my former students, and I have already lost too many.

....that children are our future, but raising them in today's world is the hardest and scariest job, well...second to teaching middle school ;)

....most people spend too much time being angry or bitter, if only they would push forward with a 'happy heart'...eventually the clouds would part.

....that I have the funniest, sweetest kids that I know, and they love Jesus - and THAT makes a Mama happy!

....that I did not come to know Jesus as my Savior until I was an adult...BUT it was mainly due to some key adults who invested their time, energy, love, and prayer into me as a child/teen, I am eternally grateful and determined to give back.

....that some of my strongest supporters are people who I rarely see, but interact with through social media, txting, etc.

....that one day I will find a way to have my group home for homeless teens...one day.

....that there is no such thing as being 'caught up' with laundry.

....some people, children, babies, will teach us more in 1 week, 3 months, 13 months, 8 years, 21 years...than some other people will teach us in a lifetime.

I believe that there are blessings every day as a Norton4...

Ch..Ch..Ch..Changes...yet, not so much ;)

So...it's the holiday season again, otherwise known as 2 months of hell when you have an Autistic kid. I'm not being ugly, I'm just saying..that crowds, and chaos, and changes in routine, and over stimulation are NOT the things that spell J-O-Y or make for a Happy Heart...when that heart is wrapped up in an Asperger boy's body. That is ONE of the reasons that we made some ch..ch..ch..changes to our holiday routine last year. The other (main) one is that we felt that our kids just weren't 'getting it'...well that and they already have enough STUFF.  If you are a new reader of my blog...GO BACK ;) read last year's Blog about..Giving Away Christmas...this could have been titled - Giving it Away..part II.

But seriously, they don't NEED all that stuff.  They have clothes, books, games, toys, and most importantly PARENTS who spend time with them. On top of that they have extended family AND an AMAZING church family, youth group, etc who they SPEND TIME WITH. There are too many kids out there who have NONE of that...who have very little clothes, toys, etc...and who have NO ONE spending any time with them.  Our kids are blessed, and they have spent a great deal of time this holiday season...giving back. This year in addition to their much anticipated (and much loved) Advent calendar from their Dear Mrs. Lois...we decided that I would also create an Advent calendar for them.  I made 2 origami envelopes for each day...1 had a scripture card in it that is taking them through the story of Jesus' birth. Found it here..
http://printable.tipjunkie.com/printable-christmas-story-advent-cards/ LOVE me some Tip Junkie! And the other has had an activity or 'fun thing' according to the kids...

So far the funniest day (to me) has been the day that Justice was reading "...and you will name him Jesus..." and Savy said "hey WAIT! God told Mary what to name her baby?? That's not nice, you should get to pick your baby's name!" LOL When I asked her who's baby was he really? She DID know that he was really God's baby boy...BUT she still thinks that a Mama should be able to name her own baby...haha  It has just warmed our hearts how much they have enjoyed the 'fun things' too...They have been things like - make paper snowflakes, have a picnic in front of the tree, buy gifts for a needy child, make and send a card to someone in the military, donate food to the local food pantry, string Christmas lights...

This past Saturday our kids were blessed to spend the day with our youth group while we went caroling for the afternoon.  We took a group of about 20-25 middle and high schoolers around to give back to the community. We met up with some great folks from the Salvation Army, learned a bit about their Angel Tree program, and then headed out for the afternoon.  We went around to several different locations and spent some time caroling at the 'red kettles' at each location.  It was funny to see how as people bustled by in their rush to shop, they would almost always start singing along with us.  It was a LONG day and our kiddos were troopers. We ended up the evening with our Youth group's progressive dinner.  I just can not say enough about our church family, the fabulous youth group that we have, and most of all our AMAZING youth pastor...Colby is a gem. I'm pretty sure that my children actually think he is related to us since we are all together so much...good thing since he loves our kids almost as much as they love him ;) 

I'm not sure where I was going with this when I started...I have more to say, but it is getting quite late.  I will have to finish tomorrow.  But before I say goodbye, another melt my heart moment - at one point on Saturday afternoon I hear Savy say to Colby "hey Colby...you know what we did last night?!? We shopped for our needy childs..." Maybe, just maybe they are starting to get it...


Until next time...all our love, the Nortons4

How did I get HERE??

It wasn't my choice to become a teacher. Some days I am not sure at all how I got here...I mean, growing up my sister and I did our share of 'playing school.' But I did not come from a family of teachers, I did not feel growing up that I HAD to be a teacher. One one hand, as I was growing up I could have been anything that I wanted to be.  But really, when I was growing up there were only two things that I wanted to be...one was a journalist, and the other was a lawyer. And I had some AMAZING teachers that encouraged both of these possibilities. From 2nd grade...through high school, I can still name the ones who made a difference: Mrs. Burgess, Dianne Smith, Dr. Short, Debbie Dudek, Ted Backes, Shirley Council, Burt Podhurst, Dennis Horal, Linda (Carter) Backes, Mr. Hastings. I know I am blessed to still be in touch with a few of them to this day.

 
It's funny though,I believe this idea that I could be 'anything' is also what lead me to finally become a teacher...many years later.  I don't know if I was a likable student, but I was certainly NOT the Honor Society/yes sir/yes ma'am student that my older sister was.  I had my share of fun (and her share, and a few others ;) made enough poor choices to last a life time, hit the absence limit EVERY semester, and never because I was sick...Let's just say that we are hoping the kids follow in their sweet Daddy's footsteps and not mine!  So when I think about all of the things that I 'could' have been....I could have very easily never even gone to college - just gotten pregnant (more than once) and then who knows....I could have easily gone down the path of drugs and heavy drinking, and to the dark world beyond....I could have dropped out of school easily, many times...might have missed college all together if it wasn't for the voice in middle school who told me 'you HAVE to go - YOU will have a blast, you will find yourself...' those were the 3 hardest years of my life, except for hearing that over and over during 8th grade.

I think it has probably been part.. fear of 'what might have been' and a whole lot of...by the Grace of God that has led me to the classroom, but there is no doubt that it is my mission field.  I have a saying, almost a mantra that I try to live by...it is written on the inside cover of my Bible and I mention it almost weekly at our FCA/CL meetings. "You may be the only Jesus that someone sees that day." I try to carry that out in my classroom and often feel as if I spend from 8:00 - 3:15 parenting every day...and often don't have much left when my own kids get up the hill...but those are just the days that we pray extra hard. Our kids see us pour everything into our jobs, they see us love 'our kids' and 'Daddy's boys' and we wouldn't have it any other way.  We have opened our home to students in need in the past, and they have become family, and I'm sure we will do it again.  I've gone to graduations and cried because I am so proud of how far my kids have come, and I've gone to too many funerals...and sobbed, devastated by the thought of a life cut way too short.  It never gets easier...but I wouldn't change a thing, not one. Every bad choice, every rough year, it lead me here...it put me right here with these students...who I know in my heart of hearts need me.  They need to hear what I have to say, they need to learn from my poor choices and my bad decisions, and they need to see my Jesus.

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I freaking HATE rules... and our ever growing circle...

I HATE rules. I'm just going to put that out there. I realize that as someone who is officially halfway (WOOHOO!) through my teaching career "that is inappropriate" as Savy would say. I'm also thinking that the double digit tattoos, and multiple piercings (that have been here and gone) would also lend themselves to the 'non-rule following' personality as well. I don't know, for all of my tendencies to be very much like my son...I'm just not into creating a bunch of rules for everyone else to follow, heck I have a hard enough time following the ones I'm supposed to...

If you are wondering WHERE the heck this is going today...I'm having some issues with autism. You see, it's summer time...it SHOULD be fun, carefree, lazy, no schedules, FREE time...doesn't that sound great?? Yeah...not so much in our house....you see most of those things have a tendency to wreak havoc...no schedule = YIKES, free time = PANIC MODE...so while the school year tends to create anxiety and exhaustion, there is a comfort in that schedule...Summer just creates...yikes, and panic, and ANGER! and then he starts making rules...rules about this, rules about that. Rules for this game. Rules for who picks that movie. Rules for what we do in the car. Rules for who will do this then...and that...OMG...the RULES....see, I hate them. I know it isn't easy being him, and I wouldn't change him for the world...I just wish there weren't so many rules ;)

We had a few weeks at the beginning of summer when we were wrapping things up in our classrooms and we had a BIG wedding that the kids were involved in...I think we have finally settled into a decent summer routine.  We are back to attending baseball games on the weekends the Tourists are home (missed one home-stand because of the wedding, yikes ;) I will be creating Chore Charts for the kids this week, and then a weekly schedule (kinda like a camp would have) just so there is some predictability for him.

I get mad sometimes, frustrated really.  Because people just don't understand. I mean, they try...and most people mean well...but unless you have a child with special needs, a child that just requires so much more, a child that is just exhausting, emotionally, physically draining...then you just don't get it. Now don't get me wrong...there is not one thing that I would change about my life. However, I know that I have paid the price of Asperger's in my life...with my health, in my family, in my marriage, in many relationships...probably the biggest price we pay is in friendships.  My husband and I talk about 'our circle' all the time, and just how hard it is for us to even have any friends. I mean...sure we have acquaintances, and there are lots of people that I work with that I call friends...but I am talking about those people that you can call any time to just drop the kids off with so you can go do something.  You see, when you have a very High Maintenance kid...you can't just leave him anywhere...with anyone. 'Our circle' is VERY small. But...it's getting bigger. Slowly but surely... It shrunk drastically when my mom got sick...that rocked his world, because she 'got him' better than I do.  But he still has his Grand (who happens to be coming to whisk him away this week ;) and Opa...they 'get him.' And even though Tuckin married That Boy...that just made the circle bigger...

Here's to ever growing circles...and enjoying summer...

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Names are interesting aren’t they? I LOVE our kids’ names (duh ;)…Justice Crutchfield and Savannah Grace. There are stories behind each, which they both know by heart since they have asked to hear them so many times.  First there was our sweet boy…we knew we wanted kids right away…so we tried right away. The week I was going to take a pregnancy test started out like any other - I was teaching, and Monday was crazy. Tuesday however, would change us all, forever…that was Tuesday, September 11, 2011.  We all know what that day was like, we will never forget. I didn’t even think about taking the test until Thursday morning, and then I remember having such mixed feelings of such joy mixed with fear…of the world we were bringing this precious life into. At the time, Jay was a Firefighter, and we were both very adamant about paying respect to the people affected on 9/11 when we named our child…so our choices were Grace and Justice. Emily Grace if our baby was a girl and Justice Crutchfield (Jay’s mom’s maiden name) if our baby was a boy.  As soon as he could ask, Justice wanted to know how he got his name…so we explained it…so he can tell you.  He has watched SEVERAL 9/11 documentaries - he ‘gets’ it…and is honored , and he‘s only 9 - I love that about him.

Now, the Peanut - she was supposed to be Emily Grace…but when she was in my belly…Emily just wasn’t working for me.  Justice and I were driving to a wedding together (Daddy was meeting us there…football, you know ;) and I asked him…Justice what do YOU think her name should be? And he said “Savannah Grace” Now…granted, Savannah was a character on one of his favorite shows (Jay Jay the Jet plane) but hey…it worked!! We double checked it with Daddy…and Savannah Grace it was!! Plus another cool thing about the names in out family…the boys are all J’s and the girls are all S’s…we like that.

Now - the ORIGINAL point of this blog was to tell about the day we explained Daddy’s name (and daddy). It was a day that he had been dreading for a LONG time…but like most things… it turned out just fine…and a little bit funny to boot. Just to give a little background, for those who don’t know…Jay’s “legal” name is John Norman Norton III and he was raised in a LARGE ’blended’ family (think Brady Bunch just with more girls than boys ;) Mama/Jane/Grand - his mom - she has 3 kids (Jay, Brad, Kelly) and Dad/Bob/Opa - his dad/step dad - he has 3 kids (Jennifer, Jill, Jodi)  We LOVE our HUGE family of aunts, uncles, etc!!

But lately the issue of ‘names’ has come up a few times…like “Why did Opa name you John Norman Norton III?” or from Savy “John Norton and Bradley Norton? They should have the same names as their parents…Jane and Bob Brocious…that doesn’t make sense!?”  and finally from Justice - which sparked the convo - “if you are John Norman Norton III, there had to be a John Norman Norton Sr and a Jr…so who was that? Grand’s dad or Opa’s dad?”

So…we sat down to eat…and started to explain. We asked if they knew some friends that had 2 sets of parents, because their parents were divorced.  They said yes…and gave us some examples. We continued on to explain that Grand and Daddy’s father got divorced…and that Opa was really his ‘step-dad’ even though he called him dad. When I said ‘step-dad’…Savy said “but he’s NOT mean!!!” Which cracked us up…thanks Cinderella ;) Then Justice wanted to know were Jay’s ‘birth dad’ was…I explained that he passed away while I was pregnant with Savy…”Grand KILLED him?!?!?” he asked BWHAHAHAHAHA oh…what a loaded question! “NO, he just died” I said. ‘OK - so Opa is STILL my grandpa right? And I don’t HAVE to name MY kid John Norman Norton IV?” He asked….“Yes he is, and No you don’t” LOL and that was it….all that worrying he did, for nothing. I guess that’s like most things…we work them up in our minds and make them bigger than they are…thanks to my precious babies for once again reminding me…it’s never as bad as I think it’s gonna be.

The Mission Field - broken hearts and Port-o-potties.

I'm a teacher. It's not my job, or what I do...it's who I am. It is what He has called me to do.  I know this beyond the shadow of any doubt. I have more faith in this, than in almost anything. That school, those 800+ kids...THAT is my mission field each and every day. Some days are great, like this past weekend...we took about 150+ 8th graders to the Lost Sea, Wilderness in the Smokies, and Dollywood. We had a BLAST! We went spelunking (that's crawling around in caves, for those of you without dictionaries ;) played at the water park, and rode roller coasters! All without a hitch...ok, so there was 1 little hitch...in MY group of course, but aside from that...it was a breeze.  Truly, I work with amazing people, and the kids at my school, while many of them may face all kinds of challenges...they are some awesome kids!!

Tonight was Senior Night for the Eagles Softball girls...I helped the kids make them a sign...it was cute. It said "We LOVE (heart) Daddy's Seniors" and had all the girls names on it. It was a good game too, the girls were playing great...until the skies opened up :( the best part was getting to spend some time with our friends from church - the Metcalf's. The girls were running around playing, it was precious to watch - but they are all getting so big so fast.

I realized again how much we invest into some kids tonight. My heart is saddened and breaking just a bit as I learned about the passing of the mother of one of my former students.  She was a student who was rather 'time consuming' let's say...and I spent many hours, days in prayer for her.  I still worry about her and now it seems that will only increase. But that is ok, this is my chosen Mission Field, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

On a funny note....our girls just HAD to go potty while we were at the game, unfortunately the only option is the rather RIPE Port-o-pottie. So we gave in and headed over, I went in first with Savy (holding my breath) lol, I emerged and passed the gagging baton to Amanda and she headed in with Marley. She emerged with the comment "I think I've been on a mission trip" of course Marley had a much different take..."hey - they had really NEAT little sinks in there ya know!" HAHA

Which Came First??

So apparently we weren’t quite busy enough ;) and the THREE dogs, 1 tarantula, 2 wild kids, and 8-10 chickens / roosters that wander around near our house were not enough... A few weeks ago we made a purchase that we had been discussing for quite some time. It is one that we feel very strongly about on many levels…it will teach the kids responsibility (as only raising ‘livestock’ can), provide some free entertainment (especially for the next several weeks as we ‘create’ their living space), be a very ‘green’ source of bug control and fertilizer, provide a needed food source and even a little income :). Plus – they are just so darn, stinking CUTE!

So they started in a washtub in the kitchen.  They have moved to the playroom. They quickly graduated to needing the brooding pen around the washtub. We take them outside as often as we can, when it is warm enough…the kids just love them. Justice spent the first week or so counting and RE-COUNTING them each time we would return to the house. LOL  They have thought about names <Savy mostly names them after her friends, team mates…Sally, Ella Ray, etc> But they are so hard to tell apart at this point, we will have to wait a little while...or until we can band their legs.

Their 1st night at home.

 

She would NOT hold them the 1st night.

 

There actually is ONE that has a name so far...Til-ta...she is very sweet and ALWAYS tilts her head, like she's saying..huh?  They really are sweet, and fluffy, even though they are getting more and more feathers every day...I got to the daycare a few days ago and all the kids were collecting worms <EWWW> My sweet girl had several in a bucket - and had even convinced them to let her take the bucket HOME, so she could bring the chicks fresh worms <ummm BARF> But, smart girl...they LOVED them!

 

Getting some fresh air :)

He loves the chicks!

Feeding her babies <3

So for now, our home continues to be a growing zoo...and we wouldn't have it any other way.  You can feel the love, hear the noises, and there's a little pecking here and there.  But mostly you can feel the LOVE...

Loving my Crazy Life

Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live. – Jackie Windspear

WOW - it's been SO long since I have updated, if this blog were one of my children someone surely would have called DSS for neglect by now ;) Let's see...where do I begin? How long has it been? What have the Nortons4 been up to?  Well, we moved. Again. Shocker, I know.  Right before Christmas (so I'm not REALLY sure this qualifies as an 'update' for anyone...lol) but, oh well.  But the BIG NEWS part of the move is that we moved INTO the Hillandale District, so Savannah can attend school with her big brother next year when she starts Kindergarten (which is an entirely different blog - cuz I CAN NOT believe my baby is starting school :( The kids LOVE their new neighborhood, it is the first time Justice has EVER lived near his classmates.  We love that he can just go across the street and play with his friend Alan.  In the mornings (when I don't have duty ;) I can catch a little bit of a break and put him on the bus also.  That means I just have to drop off the Peanut, and then...wait for it...I get about THREE WHOLE MINUTES...KID FREE!!! WOOHOO!!!

We had about a month of getting settled, playing with friends afterschool, etc and then the next sports season was upon us.  We decided that after several years of VERY structured Church-League basketball, that Justice was ready for BASEBALL. And since Savy met the minimum age...of course she was ready too ;) for Softball that is.  AND since we weren't QUITE busy enough...Jay figured he would help out coaching softball at East too. and the Peanut STILL does gymnastics on Thursdays when she doesn't have practice or games.  This all sounded possible, even enjoyable - until last week (otherwise known as the 7 game week of death ;) I am not quite sure what I was ever thinking...and am now fairly certain, that not only will I die at the ballpark - but it will be a slow, and rather painfull death...most likely caused by a random foul ball, a horribly uncomfortable bleacher, a watermelon ring pop, or 1 of the 45 babies that Savy HAS to bring to her brother's game.

But really - they are both very gifted athletes, we are truly blessed.  Which actually WAS the point of this entire blog in the first place...I have been reminded on more than one occasion in this past week of just how truly blessed we really are.  Justice was a little nervous when the season started, since almost everyone but him (and 1 other player) had been playing for years.  But it turns out he is just fine...he is quite the hitter, and his fielding is not too shabby either.  He usually plays short-stop and pretty consistently knocks it out to the outfield. He is even developing some friendships on the team - we could not be happier!  Savy is also pretty good!  She is by far the smallest and youngest on her team...but she sure has 'racing feet' - just ask her!  She is getting to be a pretty good hitter too and her fielding is not that bad, when she isn't playing games <'there's a bug on your shirt' is her fave> She is too stinking cute in her uniform...of course it swallows her whole!

Anyway - I joke that this baseball / softball season just may be the death of me, but actually not much makes me happier than being at a ballfield.  In many ways it reminds me of just about everything that I truly love - my man, kids, sports, fun, life, and God - who makes it all possible.  It takes me back to the beginnings, to a simpler time, and reminds me how it all began...with a Little League coach and a sports loving girl...who had a wedding and went to see a bunch of Braves games. And almost 10 years later are more in love than ever...watching their own Little Leaguer and softball player.  Can't imagine being any more blessed.