Healing can take time. Forgiving can take even more…

           I sure have missed my people. There was a time when I could have never imagined leaving these mountains and colors that I love so much.  And then…our world exploded, or imploded…  Everything that we did and stood for was tested.  Who we were as a family and a couple, was challenged.  Our true friends stood with us as we faced the challenge and made tough choices.  And we chose each other, we chose our children, we chose FAMILY. So we walked away, we made a move that had been a long time in the making, but God finally made the timing right. 

            But I was mad.  I may have made the choice to leave my home and my friends, but I did not like the feeling that I was being controlled by the actions of others. Others that I KNEW were doing something wrong, people that we had trusted.  And I know that the whole “learning who your true friends are” is a common experience, but I was also still very bothered by this realization.  I guess it stung so hard because the ‘back-stabs’, and the ‘whispers’ only came from a few people, but they were all people from our church. We belonged to a different church for about 8 years previously and never experienced anything like this.

            But this is what I have learned.  It’s all good. I remember telling Jay, through tears…that God had a plan for all this.  That if we just trusted Him, everything would be all right. I am at an amazing middle school. I love my administration and all of the people I work with. It is the PERFECT school for Justice, hands down. And he has done so well so far this year.  Savannah is doing great as well, and we love her elementary school too.  Jay has his dream landscaping job, and just bought his dream truck, he is a happy man. 

            Savy and I had a wonderful trip back ‘home’ this past weekend.  It was the perfect time. I realized that I am not mad anymore. Our amazing life that God has blessed us with has completely healed me.  And for that I am extremely grateful. I was grateful for quiet moments, just sitting next to dear friends, coach’s wives who mean so much.  I am grateful for all those precious students who asked if I was back…lol  I am grateful that I can forgive, that I can let go, and that the UNfriend button is a powerful healing tool.

What a Difference a Year Makes...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 NIV)

A year ago today my life was so different. I had a Mom, or she was alive at least. My Mom as I knew her had been gone for a few years, but at least a small part of her was still physically around. My dad was alive, but I didn't really have a dad. We had basically mutually given up on each other years ago, on any meaningful relationship. Years of childhood hurts, then the teen years, and even some struggles as an adult. I believe every parent does the best they can, with what they know, and with how they were taught/raised. Was my childhood difficult? At times, yes. Do I know tons of kids who have difficult lives? Yes. You still have a choice every day to rise above...

A year ago I had good friends, that I was pretty sure that I could count on for anything. And I had some great family members that I was close to, but I did not make a point to see or talk to them enough.

And then it happened. Tomorrow. 3-15-2012. The day that changed everything. The ides of March. The day she never woke up, the day she stopped fighting. It didn't surprise me or catch me off guard, I was ready. But it broke my heart nonetheless. It broke my heart to tell my babies, it broke my heart as I realized she was GONE, and for a while it broke my spirit.

But I never lost faith. And I leaned on those friends. I learned to ask for help and to reach out...which has never been easy for me. And those good friends I had last year, I count many of them as family now. Those family members...mainly my Aunt Donna (mom's twin sister) and my cousin Gene...I have seen them even more this year. I am blessed to have her as a "s'parent" I know everyone isn't as blessed. And I have cousins that are like siblings, that I've seen a couple times this year even though we live 800 miles apart. Not to mention our almost daily interactions, we are very similar and make great sounding boards for each other.

Our immediate family is so blessed. I know that Jay and I can weather ANY storm, without a doubt. And our babies have experienced so much death, yet have so much faith. Just the other day Savy said..."You know, Friday is Mom-moms birthday. Cuz the day someone dies and goes to heaven is like a birthday too!" Yeah...they get it.

Probably the biggest difference this year is that I DO have a dad now. I talk to him or text him every week. We see him almost every week. After Mom's memorial service we sprinkled her ashes in FL at the beginning of May. That was the last time I talked to my dad, and I honestly did not think I would ever speak to him again. Then, in September, out of the blue he called. Actually it wasn't out of the blue, and there is a lot to the story...but that is for another blog. Just suffice it to say that God is in charge. Like I told someone the other day...I had an AMAZING relationship with my mom, and I got 40 years with her. If God took her so that I could have a relationship with my dad, I'm ok with that, I consider myself blessed.

Yes, blessed indeed.

Are you content?

'Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.' (1 Timothy 6:6-8 NLT)


I think a huge problem in today's world is that many people don't know how to be content anymore. Everyone wants MORE. They convince themselves that they NEED more. Everything about how they live has to do with this pursuit of....more. They are never content. They can't just...BE. I think that I am a pretty content person. now don't get me wrong...I absolutely LOVE to read...I need to KNOW things, and love to learn...but my life, how I live...I am content. My life is all about serving others. I don't need any more, I don't need more things, more money (I would just give it away to help others) I have ALL I need. I have an AMAZING God who loves me despite myself. I have an amazing husband, and these riduculously amazing kids. What more could I want? I feel sorry for so many people that we know that feel the need to keep aquiring 'stuff' or keep needing MORE. More money, better cars, bigger houses...they are never content. They are never satisfied, they will NEVER have enough...and honestly what GOOD are they doing with what they have?? Do they need MORE so that they can help others? Are they aquiring more to give it away? To serve others? I don't get it...

There are some changes taking place in the Norton household. Nothing major, and ALL for the better...I guess you could say that we weren't content ;) I think the 'pre-teen' behavior struggles are beginning and we are wanting to make sure we have a handle on them. We are cutting back a little on some activities, not running ourselves so ragged. More relaxed family time together, weekly Family Meetings. And most of all...more time spent with Him. Now that IS all I need...

As always, blessed to be the Nortons4

Happy New Year

I've got to be honest...there's a part of me that is glad that 2012 is over. It was definitely a year of tests, a year spent 'in the fire' and while part of me is glad its over...I wouldn't change any of it. Now I KNOW that some of you just read that and said..."um, Shan?..." But really, for all of the tests, heartache, loss...I wouldn't change a thing, because in the end I feel as if I have come out BLESSED beyond measure.

I have said before that I know undoubtedly that Mom having her stroke saved Jay and I...it brought us closer together, and made God our focus. I used to think that I couldn't live with out her...that I HAD to have my mom around. God showed me that I would be just fine without her...as long as I put Him first. What I finally learned this year, through many heartaches, and many losses...was that there was only ONE who I couldn't live without...God, and as long as I focused on Him, put Him first...then I would be fine.

It was a tough year, personally...professionally...mom, job issues, personal issues. They took their toll. But through them all, I put Him first...and amazing things happened. We had the opportunity to help out a family/friend. We were able to develop some friendships into very important relationships. The kids are getting older, so football season seemed a bit more manageable. And since our Sunday School class started going to the games...I even started sitting in the stands...sometimes ;) Honestly though, if it weren't for the amazing group of Coach's Wives (and a few select parents) I'm not sure how any of us would make it through...

But I digress...because my point is, I am SO Blessed. I am blessed to have all those people sit around me as a buffer in the stands. Blessed to be in a circle of Coach's Wives together, with other precious ladies who get it! Blessed to work at a place that is more a family...than a job. Blessed to have some amazing friends, who are truly family. Blessed to have some family that are some amazing friends. Blessed to have some family that I am finally learning to trust and love. Blessed that I had the amazing gift of 40 years with the best mom ever. Blessed that I have learned that forgiveness and love is so much better than pride. Blessed to spend my days with God and my Nortons4